# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Quotes by Woody Allen

"How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?"

By Woody Allen

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"The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more."

By Woody Allen

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"I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia."

By Woody Allen

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"More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly."

By Woody Allen

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"Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought---particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things."

By Woody Allen

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"Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things."

By Woody Allen

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"His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy."

By Woody Allen

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"I am at two with nature."

By Woody Allen

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"Eighty percent of success is showing up."

By Woody Allen

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"I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia."

By Woody Allen

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"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."

By Woody Allen

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"Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable."

By Woody Allen

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"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead- not sick, not wounded - dead."

By Woody Allen

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"More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to utter hopelessness and despair, the other to total extinction. Let us hope we have the wisdom to choose correctly."

By Woody Allen

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"For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath a pedestal"

By Woody Allen

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"We were married by a reformed rabbi in Long Island. A very reformed rabbi. A Nazi."

By Woody Allen

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"For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have."

By Woody Allen

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"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank."

By Woody Allen

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"Is sex dirty? Only if you do it right."

By Woody Allen

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"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick, not wounded: dead."

By Woody Allen

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"Eternity is a long time, especially towards the end."