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"To get the attention of a large animal, be it an elephant or a bureaucracy, it helps to know what part of it feels pain. Be very sure, though, that you want its full attention."
By Kelvin Throop
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"The wisest mind has something yet to learn."
By George Santayana
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"There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers."
By William James
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"The enemy came. He was beaten. I am tired. Goodnight."
By Vicomte Turenne, Message sent after the battle of Dunen, 658
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"There are plenty of good five-cent cigars in the country. The trouble is they cost a quarter. What this country really needs is a good five-cent nickel."
By Franklin P. Adams
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"The best part of the fiction in many novels is the notice that the characters are purely imaginary."
By Franklin P. Adams
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"The only thing I like about rich people is their money."
By Lady Astor
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"The richer your friends, the more they will cost you."
By Elisabeth Marbury
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"There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist."
By Mark Twain
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"There ought to be one day - just one - where there is open season on senators."
By Will Rogers
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"The world makes up for all its follies and injustices by being damnably sentimental."
By Thomas H. Huxley
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"The wine seems to be very closed-in and seems to have entered a dumb stage. Sort of a Marcel Meursault."
By Paul S. Winalski
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"The best reason I can think of for not running for President of the United States is that you have to shave twice a day."
By Adlai E. Stevenson Jr.
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"The Preacher, the Politicain, the Teacher,
Were each of them once a kiddie.
A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature.
Do I want one? God Forbiddie!"
By Ogden Nash
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"The more he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons."
By Ralph Waldo Emerson
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"The first kiss is stolen by the man; the last is begged by the woman."
By H. L. Mencken
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"The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket."
By Kin Hubbard
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"The trouble with my wife is that she is a whore in the kitchen and a cook in the bed."
By Geoffrey Gorer
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"There ought to be a room in every house to swear in."
By Mark Twain
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"The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just."
By Abraham Lincoln
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