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"Changing a college curriculum is like moving a graveyard--you never know how many friends the dead have until you try to move them!"
By Calvin Coolidge or Woodrow Wilson
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"Chess is as elaborate a waste of human intelligence as you can find outside an advertising agency."
By Raymond Chandler
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"Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago."
By Bernard Berenson
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"Contrary to popular belief, English women do not wear tweed nightgowns."
By Hermione Gingold
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"Carlyle said, "A lie cannot live"; it shows he did not know how to tell them."
By Mark Twain
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"Charity sees the need not the cause."
By German Proverb
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"Calvin Coolidge was the greatest man who ever came out of Plymouth Corner, Vermont."
By Clarence Darrow
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"Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts. Our main imports are baseball players and acid rain."
By Pierre Trudeau
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"Courtly love-poetry may first have been written during long periods of abstinence on the Crusades, but it would not have flourished in the cold of northern Europe without some help from the chimney."
By James Burke
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"Civilization is the distance man has placed between himself and his excreta."
By Brian Aldiss
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"Coincidences are spiritual puns."
By G.K. Chesterton
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"Close your mouth, Michael; we are not a codfish."
By Mary Poppins
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"Congress consists of one third, more or less, scoundrels; two thirds, more or less, idiots; and three thirds, more or less, poltroons."
By H. L. Mencken
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"Christmas is a holiday that persecutes the lonely, the frayed, and the rejected."
By Jimmy Cannon
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"Chief of the Army."
By Napoleon Bonaparte, last words, 1821
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"Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives."
By John Stuart Mill
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"Confound those who have said our remarks before us."
By Aelius Donatus
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"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want."
By Joseph Wood Krutch
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"Chaos is the score upon which reality is written."
By Henry Miller
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"Confusion is a word we have invented for an order which is not understood."
By Henry Miller
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